I remember telling a friend of mine recently, that I think I know more about how to construct a car from scratch then I do about how to find a church! And BTW, if you dont know me, my idea of fixing the loud bangs coming from my car is to turn the stereo up!

Here are a few of the problems I have with the whole church shopping thing:

1. Well first, it feels like shopping. In a culture, or world, that commodifies everything, that just seems wrong with the Bride of Christ. What, I have a list of 10 things that I am looking for, comparing stats and technical specifications as I would shopping for a flat panel tv?
2. Well, if feels like dating. What, I just keep going out with whomever I want, who ever looks good at the moment, move in for a while, try ‘her’ out, and then if we ‘fit’ (again according to my standards list mentioned in #1) we get ‘married’, I become a member. You know until death do us part, or wait, until love do us part, you know, until I get sick of her, or am pressed in someway that I dont like, and just move on down the line. I mean with over 200 churches here, there are a lot of fish in the sea.
3. How do ‘I’ know what a good church is anyways? I mean, the whole concept is absurd. If I am a disciple, who am I to figure out how I am to be discipled? I can imagine someone wanting to learn guitar saying, ‘That teacher just keeps wanting to teach me scales, or get me to read music, or tune my guitar. Doesnt he understand, I just want to play my guitar. Why cant I find someone to teach me that?’

You know, a Groucho Marx quote comes to mind, it goes something like this: ‘The only kind of country club im interested in joining would be to good to let the likes of me in!’ I guess I feel that way about looking for a church. I need something that challenges me, that says ‘Here is the way, lets go!’ One that doesnt mince words, one that takes what Jesus said seriously.

Im going to end this post with a quote from Bryan Stone, and it speaks to what I am looking for (again, I sound like shopping, dating, etc…, but…) I am looking for a church that does not shy away from ‘vulnerability, particularity and marginality, and realizes that to do so is the refusal of the way of the cross,’ I want a church that ‘forgoes privileges and security allied with winning and opts instead for costly obedience, incarnation, and gospel nonconformity.’ And after that quote, I feel a little like Groucho Marx again!

“Silence in such matters… is a matter of approval”

-Fr. George Zabelka in A Military Chaplain Repents

This is an incredible article, where this former military chaplain repents of his participation in the bombings of Japan.  It is a 6-page article, but reads so quickly, that I ask that you go read that article.  It will add to what I am saying here.

I am going to get very ‘personal’ and real for a while, which is always dangerous.  It is easier and safer to talk about ideals and concepts, but I want to relate personal experiences and then hopefully bring it back to ‘corporate’.

I have been told directly and indirectly over the ‘2 years of hell’ by a few, although outspoken and loud, people during this time ‘What is the big deal?  You are exaggerating, those sort of things arent happening, and could never happen!”  Even when these people were brought face-to-face with these wrongs, they were shocked again that I could suggest such a thing, realized the evidence, couldnt believe it was true, but then smuggly quieted themselves down with “Yeah, I guess I could see that…” as if it was no big deal.

Now if you are not familiar with my situation over the last couple of years, the previous paragraph may be hard to understand.  Those statements were actual conversation I had with real people.  I would like to draw up a couple of fake scenarios for a moment.  It seems that we can sometimes recognize truth when it is a little removed from our own situation, similar to Nathan and David and Bathsheba.

Picture a family with children, maybe you or someone you know.  And this family has a friend, a close friend, who loves on the children, who is so friendly and giving, always bringing kind words, gifts to each member of the family.  Truly, having him visit was a little like Santa arriving, but with much more frequency.  But there is one other thing, before he leaves each time, he walks into the back room where the middle child is playing, and slaps the middle child as hard as he can, leaving both a mark on the face of the child, as well as knocking the kid over.  The santa figure then resumes his smiles and kind language, hugging everyone good-bye.

Ok, ok, that is absurd right?  How long could a parent watch this and let it happen?  How about the other siblings?  What about the person that gave ’santa’ his ride to visit?  How long would they continue as if the slapping was no big deal.  I mean, he brings gifts to everyone, says such nice things, he could never do anything wrong.  And can you imagine the brothers and sisters actually seeing the slapping and tell the one who was slapped ‘Whats the big deal?  He is so nice, and he even brought you a gift!’  And can you imagine the father sitting the child down and telling him ‘You just need to learn to forgive.’  Absurd!

Ok, let me make it real again.  If a pastor is having an affair, I would assume that he would be confronted and more than likely removed from his office, at least for a time.  Whatever they may do, I can not imagine any of his leadership just shrugging their shoulders and continuing on as if nothing happened.  There must be some recognition of guilt, some repentance, some change in action, or I would think that he could no longer pastor.  Am I off here?

But what if a pastor promotes an affair?  What if a pastor sponsors an affair, inviting both of the people in the affair over for a party, shooting off fireworks, just cookin up a good ole time?  What if he makes time for them to be alone, spend the night together in the same building, in the same room?  Is he not just as guilty, in need of confrontation as well?  If that pastor hasnt gone through any repentance or reconciliation, and even worse, if he justifies what he has done, wont he promote more of the same.  How can he counsel others who are struggling in marriage?

Have you seen the movie ‘Changeling’ with Angelina Jolie?  If not, here is a sum up: provocative thriller based on actual events. In the film, Christine Collins’ (Jolie) prayers are met when her kidnapped son is returned. But amidst the frenzy of the photo-op reunion, she realizes this child is not hers. Facing corrupt police and a skeptical public, she desperately hunts for answers.

In this film, all the people around her keep telling her to be quiet, quit making such a scene, and even ‘You are crazy!’ because she just wont let the issue lie.  She refuses to accept lies as truth, however convenient they may be.  One of the things I so like so much in this movie was that it was the church who stepped up and became a voice for her, and would not let her cause die.  Not to spoil it too much for you, but because the church was willing to stand with someone who was discarded, quieted and called crazy, things changed.  Justice rolled down, and it affected many things and many people.

A few scriptures come to mind:

they lead my people astray, saying, “Peace,” when there is no peace – Eze. 13:10

Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute -Prov 31:8

Is not this the kind of fasting (worship) I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?   -Isa 58:6

So to wrap up:

1) The title of this entry is Silence =Guilty?  So I ask you to reflect, where have we, where have I been complicit in sin by my silence at least and my sponsoring, arranging, planning of it at worse?  When we look at our personal sin in light of corporate sin, I think things can finally start to change.  Reread Prov 31:1-9.  I know I have never read much of this chapter since this is usually called the ‘Godly Woman’ chapter, but I think this should be the manifesto for our youth groups today, geez or even our churches!

2) When the church stops being silent, and starts being who she was supposed to be, speaking up for those with no voice, and not whitewashing (Ezekiel again) the sin around us,when we are no longer  the propagator of the sins of which we have only accused the world off, but see where we have transgressed, both by our silence and by our actions, we will no longer be hypocrites, the play actors.  Then I believe there will be persecution, but the world will come in droves in spite of persecution, because they finally will have seen something authentic, something real, and hopefully, see God.

What I want from a church

The gospel is ‘good news’ only if you factor in God.  Without this God, it is foolishness, it is stupid, it is death.

To those who are perishing, we are a dreadful smell of death and doom. – 2 Cor. 2:16
For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing – 2 Cor. 1:18

I want to hear more of the ‘foolish things’, more of the things that I can’t hear anywhere else.  If I am going to have a ‘transformation fo the mind’, I need to hear the things that are not good ideas, good advise, wise sayings or abstract truths that pretty much everyone can agree on.  I dont need to hear common sense.  I need to hear the things that I could never hear on the Oprah Winfrey Show, that I could never hear said by Dr. Phil.  I need to hear the things that the world could never even think of saying, things that their own ‘common sense’ would say is absolutely foolish.  I dont need the church to tell me to ‘make the most of my life’.  I dont need the church to tell me that.  I dont need to leave my house early on a Sunday morning to hear that said.  I can rent a good movie and watch it Saturday night for that.  I am not saying that these sort of things are not true.  I believe that the world does posses some truth, because I believe the Holy Spirit is at work in this world and God has hidden His truth throughout His universe.  As a christian, I may share some of these truths with the world, but I dont need those sort of things from the church.  No, I need the church to help form in me the things that the world would think is foolish, that they would call death.  Those are the things that I have a hard time understanding and believing, much less living.  Those are the things I more than likely at first hearing, will call foolish, impossible, unthinkable, or deadly… if there was not God, our loving Father, if there was not the Holy Spirit, already working ahead of me in the world and also working in the deepest places in my heart.  I need to hear the things that would make no sense at all to me, and that I would quickly disregard, if it werent for Jesus, the one who saved me and taught, lived and demonstrated the way to live, the way to life, the way to God.

We must remember that the state does not randomly execute you.  We must remember that the religious institutions do not haphazardly hate and accuse you.  We must remember that the masses who were just last week singing your praises and chanting your name, dont just casually now all leave you, spit on you, and even call for your death.  We must remember that your friends, the ones who have been the closest to you, shared their whole lives with you, these friends whom you have given to and received from, dont just unintelligibly  all of a sudden leave you, some running away naked, some slipping away in the dark, and others just standing there watching, disavowing violently, repeatedly any past history that you shared.  No, we must remember that these things dont just happen because you taught and said nice, easily understood platitues and common sense.  No, the life and teachings of Jesus are foolish.  The cross is foolishness to the greeks, and pretty much everyone else.

This, this is what I need from a church, the cross, and what that would mean today, in this state, in this world.  Because I have been charged to take up my cross and follow Jesus, and that is not just some simple sentimental way of saying ‘whatever hardship I may be facing’ at the time.  No, this cross is my way of life, my way to life.  This way of life got our leader, our saviour killed, executed by the governement.  That is the way Ive been called to go, that is the way I cannot walk by myself, and would never ever think of or come to on my own.  Those are the things that without a church, I am left to just sleep and drift in this world.  And if I struggle at all, I am left to struggle for what the world sells and tells me is right, good and true.  And those things, however good they may appear… are death.

There is a way that seems right to a man…
but in the end it only leads to death.

Just found this article on my computer while going through some old documents of mine.  This was written by a dear friend of mine, and someone who has been quite an inspirer (is that a word) and encourager to me.  This writing reminds me a lot of Bonhoeffer, at least in content.  Anyways, enough of my yapping:

Persecution
Matt 5:11
Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you falsely, say all kinds of evil against you because me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
The emphasis in the passage is not on physical persecution but moral persecution. To accuse of evil where only good has been present, the distortion of truth into falsehood, of purity into impurity; to be slandered, lied about and have your very character defamed. Punishment given to the innocent as though they were truly guilty of the most contemptible of crimes.
My Lord suffered the greatest persecution of all while He hung on the cross. His very own people accused Him of blasphemy, the greatest wickedness known to a Jew. The accusation was, “making himself out to be a God.” Yes, he was a God! Yet never once did He address these charges or seek to vindicate Himself. He remained silent in the face of His accusers even though He knew His innocence and the truth about who He Himself was. Silent even unto His death. A death reserved for the most abhorrent of criminals, for men guilty of the sins which Christ was being accused.
Self-vindication is so strong in all of us. Could I really in the face of accusation remain silent? Could I bear the weight of sins I am not truly guilty for? Could I trust in Jesus, He who has suffered the same and much more, to vindicate me and not take my reputation into my own hands? To suffer for truth I can imagine, but to endure and suffer for that which I am not guilty, to be shamed for something I have never done and not say a single word in my defense, I can only hope I will someday do.
Yet, now that I think about it, if I am to take on the sins of this world, to claim their guilt as my own, then no vindication is necessary. Then I truly am guilty of every sin they could accuse me of and probably so many more. What would that say to my world, if I claimed guilt instead of innocence? If I confessed to all their accusations and then listed all the crimes of which I am guilty that they forgot to even mention?
But for now, does my life even warrant persecution? Is there anything in me so Christ-like that I offend the powers around me and give them no choice but to persecute me in hopes of silencing me? My only answer can be “not yet.” But hopefully soon, as I begin to confess my own sins and the sins of this world I will damage my own reputation enough that it will not matter what is said about me. That I too will be able to stand and not claim my own innocence but instead say, “yes, it is me, I am guilty.”

*thoughts provoked by reading “Walking among the unseen” by Hannah Hurnard

Who needs a Great Physician when we can heal ourselves?

Who needs providence for food when we can clone animals?

Who needs a Saviour when we have a 400 billion dollar defense ’shield’?

Who needs a Deliverer when the emipire has become a democracy?

Who needs a God when we are worthy of worship ourselves?

For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like mortal man and birds and animals and reptiles.- Romans 1:21-23

Strange to me that people who so quickly will rattle off ‘Romans 13′, or at least the first few verses, dont seem to want to read the rest of Romans, especially Romans 12…. (geos comment)

I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting the one who called you by the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel— which is really no gospel at all. Evidently some people are throwing you into confusion and are trying to pervert the gospel of Christ.- Galatians 1:6-7

^{-italics are from page 171 of ‘Jesus for President’}

The time is coming when the confession of the living God will incur not only the hatred and the fury of the world, for on the whole it has come to that already, but the complete ostracism from human society, as they call it. The Christians will be hounded from place to place, subjected to physical assault, maltreatment and death of every kind.

We are approaching an age of widespread persecution. Therein lies the true significance of all the movements and conflicts of our age. Our adversaries seek to root out the Christian Church and the Christian faith because they can not live side by side with us, because they see in every word we utter and every deed we do, even when they are not specifically directed against them, a condemnation of their own words and deed. They are not far wrong. They suspect too that we are indifference to their condemnation. Indeed they must admit that it is utterly futile to condemn us. We do not reciprocate their hatred and contention, although the would like it better if we did, and so sink to their own level.

And how is the battle to be fought? Soon the time will come when we shall pray, not as isolated individuals, but as a corporate body, a congregation, a Church we shall pray in multitudes (albeit in relatively small multitudes) and among the thousands and thousands of apostates we shall loudly praise and confess the Lord who was crucified and is risen and shall come again. And what prayer, what confession, what hymn of praise will it be? It will be the prayer of earnest love fore these very sons of perdition who stand around and gaze at us with eyes aflame with hatred, and who have perhaps already raised their hands to kill us. It will be a prayer for the peace of these erring, devastated and bewildered souls, a prayer for the same love and peace which we ourselves enjoy, a prayer which will penetrate to the depths of their souls and rend their hearts more grievously than anything they can do to us.

Yes, the Church which is really waiting for its Lord, and which discerns the signs of the times of decision, must fling itself with this utmost power and with the panoply of its holy life into this prayer of love.

AF Vilmar